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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:38 pm 
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My parents want me to study. I just started studying civil engineering. The career feels 'right' for me. The studying part will take around 5-6 years. Do you think I could be missing out on lots of things if I put off travelling and trying out new, crazy, unconventional things until I finish studying (what my parents told me I should do when I told them I wanted to travel to see new things cause I can't really choose what life I want unless I have seen, you know, more than like 1 "option")? My dad really resents having abandoned his studies, cause he says he's always depending on an employer, and that having a university title gives you a lot of independence in the work part.

I'm afraid of looking back in 5, 6 years and going "oh ok now I can travel and shit" and getting a "oh yeah but you need to work for some years first to save up" and you know being like "when do I get to do what I want?" everytime I finish doing the current "necessary" thing... what happens is it's really hard for me knowing weather I'm just bullshitting myself, about what, etc...


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 9:54 pm 
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Hey man,

If there's one thing AI has taught me, it's do you what you feels right every moment.

Now I'm 18, and if you read the above posts you'll know that I've been completely confused about this as well, but the way to look at it is, that (Assuming you're near my age) you have your whole life ahead of you, and even if you're not, it's never too late to follow you're dream.

Say you went to study for 5-6 years in civil engineering and after that time now you have the training neccesary to do jobs and follow the career you want in this moment, OR you could do the alternative and work in a small time bar or whatever and build the money up to go travelling THEN look at training once you've found out what you want to do.

The point is it doesn't matter what path you take, aslong as you're enjoying the journey.

Aslong as you're enjoying the journey and living your purpose in THAT moment, you won't be missing out on anything, cos you're living that moment, and that's the only moment there is. The present one.

The way I see it, life is full of surprises and there will be times when you won't know what's coming next. In say 10 years, you could be working as a civil engineer and who knows you could be pretty high up in the rankings, but eventually you get to the point where your fed up because it's not bringing you the fulfillment you want anymore. So, you change career, and no matter what you go for, you have that training and experience under your belt, and that means something in almost any field.

I want to be a film actor, and again who know's I could be quite big in that career in say 5-10 years, but eventually i might want to change career cos I either want to try something new or am no longer satisfied with my job, but atleast I'll have the training and experience to go to a new career.

The point I'm trying to make is, your dream career is probably going to change somewhere down the line, that's not saying it will but it's likely to happen, e.g. you may have a wife and kids to care for so you'll need a steady income, or something like that. You're dream in the physical world will most likely change but aslong as you're following you're dream you'll always feel satisfied no matter what it is.

So yeah do what you feels right, take some risks, and give it everything you got. Least then you can look back and say (Regardless of if you reached your goal) I gave it everything I had.

Hope this helps out a bit mate, If I've said something that doesn't make sense (Which I probably have) let me know. :)

Rory.


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PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 2:31 pm 
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Mariano wrote:
My parents want me to study. I just started studying civil engineering. The career feels 'right' for me. The studying part will take around 5-6 years. Do you think I could be missing out on lots of things if I put off travelling and trying out new, crazy, unconventional things until I finish studying


Not really. The big summer break is a good time to do travelling. After 2-3 months on the road you're usually ready to come back home and chill out for a bit.

University is actually a great environment for trying out new, crazy things because you're surrounded by people who also want to try out new crazy things unencumbered by other responsibilities. It can be a lot of fun.

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(what my parents told me I should do when I told them I wanted to travel to see new things cause I can't really choose what life I want unless I have seen, you know, more than like 1 "option")? My dad really resents having abandoned his studies, cause he says he's always depending on an employer, and that having a university title gives you a lot of independence in the work part.


I think going to university is very important. If you have the opportunity to and don't you're a fool IMO, unless you have a very clear idea about what you want to do. Opinions on this differ though, but if you've found a course you like you should just get it done. Lets say you're 25-26 when you finish, that is still really quite young.

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I'm afraid of looking back in 5, 6 years and going "oh ok now I can travel and shit" and getting a "oh yeah but you need to work for some years first to save up" and you know being like "when do I get to do what I want?" everytime I finish doing the current "necessary" thing... what happens is it's really hard for me knowing weather I'm just bullshitting myself, about what, etc...


Especially in engineering there are a lot of cool jobs overseas. You can also travel in between semesters, or even after 2nd or 3rd year defer enrolment and take a year off to travel.

It can be hard to know what to do in any given situation. It is something you just learn through experience. I would trust your gut and your parents on this and stick with the course, the worst case is you have a career as a civil engineer which is a pretty good worst case. As an adult in this world you need something that you can point to as a profession which is what you can do to put food on the table. Without something like that you are boned.

Finding the right balance between pleasure now and pleasure later is a lifelong thing (imo). It is a balance, so you can have both over a given period of time. I had an exam I had been studying really hard for the last few weeks yesterday. So i took last night off, cracked some beer, got some good food and took it easy. Kind of a dumb example but I'm not studying all the time nor am i drinking beer eating pizza all the time. On a longer term scale I know I will have to work very hard the next few years but hopefully after that I can ease off a little.

Finding the right balance is very possible, but will take some experimenting, so don't be afraid to experiment and try different approaches.


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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 4:07 am 
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craven wrote:
Mariano wrote:
My parents want me to study. I just started studying civil engineering. The career feels 'right' for me. The studying part will take around 5-6 years. Do you think I could be missing out on lots of things if I put off travelling and trying out new, crazy, unconventional things until I finish studying


Not really. The big summer break is a good time to do travelling. After 2-3 months on the road you're usually ready to come back home and chill out for a bit.

University is actually a great environment for trying out new, crazy things because you're surrounded by people who also want to try out new crazy things unencumbered by other responsibilities. It can be a lot of fun.


All you said makes sense, though as you said, I'm not really sure about things. Anyway, to nitpick, I only get one month of vacation per school year. Not really a tragedy but you know, it's not that much. I'm in Argentina btw.

And the thing about being surrounded by people like me... I don't know man. Most guys and girls I've talked to they seem to just want to stay inside their routines, like for them it's a prolongation of high school and they are happy with it. It's likely that I'm simplifying things, maybe I have a huge erroneous view on them, but the point is: how do I find people that want to experience new things, if they aren't making themselves obvious/aren't around me? I think I have an answer: just find new things that I like doing, and see who's there too. But what do you think about it? Also how do I find new crazy things to do?

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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 7:49 am 
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That's actually something I'm working on as well, looking for people who're not only interested in the things you love to do, but who are the kind of people you want to hang out with/work with as well.

I guess the best way to know if the people you meet are who you want to connect with is to just open up to them, show them who you are and tell them what you plan to do, and see if they tick the same way.

I know what you mean about people wanting to stay in their routines, but if that makes them happy then fair play. Craven is right, it's all about just going out to find people who share your interests and ambitions.

Also, finding these people can affect your career greatly. If you're in need of work and you're friends with people in the same industry and line of work, you can call them up and see if they know of any jobs availible and might be able to help you out.


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PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2012 9:50 am 
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Agreed.


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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 1:31 pm 
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Mariano wrote:
All you said makes sense, though as you said, I'm not really sure about things.


The thing is, that feeling of being unsure might be with you for the rest of your life. If we assume there will always be some degree of uncertainty about a particular course of action, what can we do about it here and now?

The answer for me seems to be there is not a lot that can be done. No-one knows the future and the chances that people and circumstances will change are high. So given that, it seems like the best thing to do is whatever seems like the best idea at the time. Something that is important or meaningful to us, or at worst will give us more opportunities down the line.

You probably have a lot of choices. Think about them for sure, but in the end pick one and see it through. There is no right answer, and if you are honest with yourself you can always look back and know you did what you thought was right at the time.

You're always going to have some element of being unsure. Maybe your parents aren't sure about what they are doing in life, and when you and your siblings are no longer dependant on them maybe they will go off and pick up hobbies they always wanted to do. My mother loves travelling around Asia, but she did not start going until me and my sisters had all moved out and were looking after ourselves.

A good place to end up is where you get a degree of freedom about choices. So if you go and become an engineer, you will likely get decent pay which means you can explore more things as an adult. Also if you have a degree, later in life if you want to change career direction it is a lot easier to go back to university and do a masters degree for 1 year in a new field (what I am doing right now). It would be a lot harder if i had to go and do a 3-4 year undergraduate degree.

I probably did not need to do my first degree, but if I had not, I would not have had the opportunity to work all over the world, nor do what I am doing now. At the time it seemed like a reasonable idea, even though I had to move back home with my parents which really sucked (I was about 22 or 23 at the time). However it has given me so many different opportunities it has been well worth it. I met some people who are my best friends today as well.

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Anyway, to nitpick, I only get one month of vacation per school year. Not really a tragedy but you know, it's not that much. I'm in Argentina btw.


Oh thanks for pointing that out, I was not aware. In Australia we get like 1 month in winter and like 3 months break over summer (!). I almost wish we had less breaks and more time to focus on the course material. So yeah your 1 month total isnt quite the same.

Another thing you can consider is trying to do some part of course at a foreign university on exchange. Most universities have these programs, where you do 1-2 semesters somewhere else.

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And the thing about being surrounded by people like me... I don't know man. Most guys and girls I've talked to they seem to just want to stay inside their routines, like for them it's a prolongation of high school and they are happy with it. It's likely that I'm simplifying things, maybe I have a huge erroneous view on them, but the point is: how do I find people that want to experience new things, if they aren't making themselves obvious/aren't around me?


Your university probably has clubs, like rock climbing club, snow club [aka the hot chick club], chess club, programming club, etc. They are a good way to meet people with similar interests. Often if there are other universities near by they might have clubs that let other people join as well.

Also if you are in your first year give it a bit more time, high school is a really weird place and if that is where you have basically spent your life it will take some time to adjust. By year 2/year 3 people are usually a bit different.

Also I am a big fan of meetup.com not sure how popular it is in Argentina but I always find heaps of cool/interesting stuff to check out that I would have otherwise missed.

Quote:
I think I have an answer: just find new things that I like doing, and see who's there too. But what do you think about it? Also how do I find new crazy things to do?


Yeah man that is a good idea, there are also clubs outside of uni of course. If you are really stumped how about this. For the next 2 weeks, every day write down 10 things you think are cool or interesting. It could be anything, like stuff you see on the news [there is a biker war going on in sydney so maybe I want to ride a harley or something :mrgreen: ], stuff on youtube, stuff you hear people talking about on the bus, whatever.

You dont have to do anything on the list the point is just to get you thinking about sutff you like, just be sure to write down 10, every day, even if they are impossible or completely impractical. After a couple of weeks I am pretty sure you will have at least a few ideas that are starting points of cool things to try. Also stuff that you did as a kid with your parents might be more enjoyable now you are older and doing it by yourself or with friends.

The other thing is to make sure you are having fun doing it. There is no pressure here, treat it like a fun adventure into the unknown, maybe it will work out maybe it wont, it doesnt really matter. You do get more than one chance here, just accept that maybe its going to take a few different attempts before you find something you really like or people you really click with.


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PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 3:50 am 
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The part about uncertainty and opening doors.

Agreed, what you say makes sense. I really get what you mean with the sticking to something now so that you have more opportunities later on: Englsh was always easy for me, but if I hadn't followed my parents' advice and stuck to the English courses they sent me to for several years, I wouldn't even be talking to you right now, I wouldn't have gone through Get Real or Be Powerful, etc. And I wasn't really aware of all the tangible, real 'opportunities' that it made available to me after like a year of finishing said courses. So, yeah. At times I wanted to quit, but sticking to it really paid off.


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Oh thanks for pointing that out, I was not aware. In Australia we get like 1 month in winter and like 3 months break over summer (!). I almost wish we had less breaks and more time to focus on the course material. So yeah your 1 month total isnt quite the same.



"!" indeed!. I get what you mean with the too many breaks thing. Uh, I think it's a tad more than 1 month, 'cause I don't really understand the academic calendar cause it's a clusterfuck of data, cause instead of only having the dates of my career, it has the dates of the whole Engineering faculty. But anyway, it's kinda like this:

I have like 4 or 5 opportunities in each test. Like, if I fail the first time, there's a second opportunity. and then a third, and then if I don't have everything approved by the time the assignment ends, I go to finals. So if I pass everything on my first try, then I can do whatever I want till classes start again (in the meanwhile, classes are suspended till all these tests are given). And that gives me like a week or ten days or so between assignments or halves of assignments, this happens three or four times a year.

Then, winter break is from july 16 to july 27.

And in summer we get like two months (less) of vacation, and it's like only 1 month if I have to go to finals. There, that's it.


The exchange thing is a great idea! It hadn't occurred to me, tomorrow I'll ask around and see if there's anything like that.


Quote:
Your university probably has clubs, like rock climbing club, snow club [aka the hot chick club], chess club, programming club, etc. They are a good way to meet people with similar interests. Often if there are other universities near by they might have clubs that let other people join as well.


Uh yeah, no. I couldn't believe it, but yeah there are no clubs. Sucks. I should start making noise and talking to people with power and start the tradition of having hobby clubs in universities in Argentina. Not kidding, ha!


Quote:
Also if you are in your first year give it a bit more time, high school is a really weird place and if that is where you have basically spent your life it will take some time to adjust. By year 2/year 3 people are usually a bit different.


That makes sense. I only started in January.


Quote:
Also I am a big fan of meetup.com not sure how popular it is in Argentina but I always find heaps of cool/interesting stuff to check out that I would have otherwise missed.


Yeah I had tried that but it looks dead for the whole country. I mean there are only 3 things, and they are publicity for companies, 60 km away. Lol I don't mean to be a downer.

Quote:
Yeah man that is a good idea, there are also clubs outside of uni of course. If you are really stumped how about this. For the next 2 weeks, every day write down 10 things you think are cool or interesting. It could be anything, like stuff you see on the news [there is a biker war going on in sydney so maybe I want to ride a harley or something ], stuff on youtube, stuff you hear people talking about on the bus, whatever.

You dont have to do anything on the list the point is just to get you thinking about sutff you like, just be sure to write down 10, every day, even if they are impossible or completely impractical. After a couple of weeks I am pretty sure you will have at least a few ideas that are starting points of cool things to try. Also stuff that you did as a kid with your parents might be more enjoyable now you are older and doing it by yourself or with friends.



That's a good idea, I'll do that. Also now that I quit my job (I worked at the uni photocopy kiosk two days a week) I have more time to spare, I'll look around for improv clubs. And if I can't find any, I'll still have a shitton of ideas to try out.


Quote:
The other thing is to make sure you are having fun doing it. There is no pressure here, treat it like a fun adventure into the unknown, maybe it will work out maybe it wont, it doesnt really matter. You do get more than one chance here, just accept that maybe its going to take a few different attempts before you find something you really like or people you really click with.



Yeah ok, makes sense. Staying focused on enjoying whatever I end up doing is very important. Thanks craven!


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