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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:56 pm 
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Fresh Fish
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Ok. It took me about an hour of meditating :) and my conclusion is that if I didn´t "get" her I would feel... UNLOVED and FRUSTRATED because of not being able to MAKE her love me. I consider myself good looking and smart and put a lot of efford in improving, I think that if I do this I can somehow control what she would feel towards me (affection?). I´m very picky and I´m so afraid of not being loved back by the girl I so carefully choose.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:48 pm 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

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So if you didn't get her, the script you're playing in your head is that you're unworthy. This is a manifestation of a desire. What is that desire?


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 3:01 am 
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Amazing post brother, spoken like Buddha himself. Fear is what prevents us from achieving all the infinite possibilities we have in this life; each and everyone of them can be realized if we want it bad enough and will put forth the effort to achieve it. However deep within, many of us have been conditioned to accept we cannot have that or will not be good enough. But if everyone could see the boundless potential in each human being, they would see we truly have no limitations... except those we impose upon ourselves.

Its absolutely mandatory we first analyze our self-talk. How we would describe ourselves? What do we tell ourselves when we fail? What do we tell ourselves when we succeed? You can be your greatest fan or your worst enemy depending on the contents of your inner dialog.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 5:28 am 
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The desire is being worthy. It´s so true. Wow, it feels like I´m getting to know myself better. It´s fulfilling. Thanks for your support man. So, this explains a lot. Now after knowing this. What can I do?


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 1:29 pm 
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neil, I would ask yourself what does it mean to be 'worthy' and according to who. No person is inherently 'better' than anyone else. We are all just products of different environments. Had you been born in a different place and time you would be a completely different person.

I'd focus inward and ask yourself why the opinions of others matter so much to you. They are just that... opinions. We all look for validation in others [I'm feeling this even as I write this] but you can't let that hold you back from achieving what you want in life. People can be wrong in their opinions, and you are the only person that truly knows yourself, everyone else is simply making uninformed guesses. It is your job to educate them how to view you properly... to see all the great things that you bring to the table.

Everyone is good for something. Find those things which you excel at, if you don't have any... start training some. Empower yourself to be the person you want to be and go get the life you want to get.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:06 pm 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

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Neil_vizuett wrote:
The desire is being worthy. It´s so true. Wow, it feels like I´m getting to know myself better. It´s fulfilling. Thanks for your support man. So, this explains a lot. Now after knowing this. What can I do?


Ok, so your desire is to feel worthy and at the moment, the script you're running is that in order for you to feel worthy, you need to have 'that' woman in your life. You're placing your entire sense of self worth in her hands.

Do you think this is a fair thing to do to her or to yourself?

And how do you think this desire plays itself out in other areas of your life? Are there other things in life that you're chasing so that you feel worthy? Are there ways you're acting that you're trying to prove your worthyness?

Do you think that the fact that you're trying to feel worthy by getting her might be one of the reasons why you're not getting the results you're looking for?

If you already had this feeling of worthyness, how do you think you're interactions with women, and in the way you go about your every day life, would change?

There's nothing wrong with desiring to feel worthy. It's how you feel. It's a real part of you. If that's what you want, then that's great. But the thing you have to consider is 'is your current path a productive and empowering path?

What other ways could you feel 'worthy' that don't involve you relying on other people to give it to you?


LoGun

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:29 pm 
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If I felt worthy already without the need of getting her, my interactions with women would change and they would be much more sincere, meaningful and happy, because I would be free of fears and I´d be focused on giving rather than taking. And ironically, by doing so, without compelling people would see me as a worthy man and would want to be around me.
I think ways that could make me feel worthy that don´t involve me relying on other people to give it to me would be to live a virtuous life, making others feel happy and special, setting goals and accomplishing them, living with integrity, doing things to make things happen, forgiving myself, being proactive and learning. Thank you very much LoGun.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:37 pm 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

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Great to hear my friend.

Thank you for being so open and receptive.


LoGun


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 4:45 pm 
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After all my experience, I have found this post to be by far the most important thing there is in life. Without connection to your desires, life is just bland and meaningless


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:46 pm 
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Wow, I´m pretty sure that when you absorb the concepts in this forum, then picking up women is actually a side benefit.

Thank you LoGun


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