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 Post subject: Number Close Challenge.
PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:04 pm 
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Mostly A Gimp. Mostly.
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I need to vent a little. So here we go. This will be emotional. So put your seatbelts on, because Kansas is going bye-bye.

Just watched a YouTube clip of an English dude who claims to be the best PUA in England. His proof? He can exchange details with any strange woman in the street.

To really prove it, he invites a cameraman to follow him as he walks up to a girl, asks her with a nervous giggle about location of nearest Starbucks, and uses a lame excuse to need directions again in the future, and get her number.

Lame.

This obsession with number closes is so … not real. Starbucks? C’mon! Why does he feel the need to make up a crappy story to meet her?

Hint: maybe because he feels like He himself is not a good enough excuse to talk to her.

Guys, you don’t need to be a "PUA" to get her number. A woman WILL generally give you her number if you request it, and she feels like she can trust you. And it has little to do with Starbucks, your looks or lines.

Want to be twice as good as this guy tomorrow? Take these three steps.

The first two steps are there to reduce your approach anxiety.

1. Walk into Myer and head into the male perfume department. Walk up to the first cute sales girl there who is just dying to spray some smelly stuff on you and tell her that she is cute. Complement her. Give her a gift of feeling nice.

2. Walk out of Myer and into the mall. Find another cute girl. Stop her. Give this one the same gift of nice-gooey feeling. Wish her a nice day and send her on her way.

3. Last step. Find girl. Complement her. Then, as she is about to walk away stop her again and tell her you’d like to know more about her.

“Hey, you know this is obviously not the best timing/kinda random/not something guys usually do/crazy.

[And this next sentence is KEY]

"But I’d like to get to know you better. Tell you what. [stick your phone out at her] Put your number in my phone and I’ll give you a call tomorrow. If we get on well, I might let you buy me dinner one day.”

Now, go play. Become twice as good as “the best PUA in England” tomorrow. Take another forum member with you to keep the vibe fresh and have fun with it.


Steven

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Last edited by Steven on Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:01 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:52 pm 
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Lao Tzu
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One of the things I notice in my interactions is that I find I rarely ever go for the number. I generally ask are you single and when they say no, my body immediately says no walk away, it's finished. Often times I feel I'm hard wired to do that. I'm starting to think are you single question is not so good.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:05 pm 
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Mostly A Gimp. Mostly.
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Women like decisiveness. Don't ask, tell. Tell her,

"Hey, you're kinda interesting. We should chat again"

[pull phone out and stick it out to her]

"Here, put your number in my phone".

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:11 am 
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I want to add a few more technical elements to the post above. If you find that many of the numbers you get are flakes, you should probably read this.

The community has defined a few milestones of a man’s progress with a woman. Those are, typically, number closes, kiss closes, and f-close.

The conventional understanding is that I want to number close her, so I should orchestrate the right conditions (attraction/rapport) to be able to do so.

But isn't it the backward way to arrange priorities?

What about this: I want to see if I can connect with her, so that the need for her number arises automatically? In fact, so that the idea of her and I parting without keeping in touch seems ludicrous!

So here we go: something new and improved - a Connection-close. And the two big elements of that are:


1. Good conversation skills.

Getting under the superficial layers of conversation. Letting her open up. This bit here requires practice.

Good thing is, it's something you can - and should - practice to do with all people, not just women. Using open-ended questions here is a biggie. For example, she mentions traveling.

Compare this:

M: Where did you go?
F: England and Italy
M: Oh wow, I went to Italy in 1997 [seeking commonalities]
F: Really? Where?
M: Rome. Went to the Colosseum. Partied a lot [listing boring facts]

To this,

M: Must have been exiting to travel on your own [open-ended question, one that makes her relive the emotions]
F: Yeah, i was young, I was carefree, it was an adventure, etc etc...

M: Were young and free? Which means you're now old and crusty. Great. Listen, I just realised that I left something on the stove .... [using what she gave you to tease her, qualify her]
F: Haha, shut up. Im fun, thank you.

M: So what do you do for fun? [another open-ended question, using what she gives you again, again making her think exciting thoughts, bringing emotions to the surface]
F: I like good food, I catch up with my friends, you know the usual stuff. I don't really party that much. I also play guitar and read lots of fiction.

M: Awesome. I like a girl who has a lot going on. I'm not that big on getting loose at parties, either. So how did you get into music? [indicating interest on her quality, relating to her experience, another open-ended question which will probably take her back into childhood memories]

You see the difference? Ask open-ended question, then either tease or relate. Some examples of useful questions:

    How did ... make you feel?
    What are your thoughts on ... ?
    Travel/that job/that relationship must have taught you a lot.
    How did you get into ... ?
    What was it like to grow up in ... ?
    What's your opinion of people who drink water by dipping a straw into the glass, creating a vacuum, then sucking water out of the straw?



2. A DEMONSTRATED and/or GENUINE interest in her beyond her looks.

Demonstrating it is not hard; Mystery has been preaching it since he became well, Mystery.

"So, what else is there to you... beauty is common.. etc". You can find elements of that in my previous post where I said its key to tell her WHY you want her number:

"But I'd like to get to know you better ... If we get on well, I might ..."

Making it genuine it is a totally new level. Let's face it, sometimes we just want to fuck the shit out of her just because she is hot. But I think discernment beyond appearances is something that comes with time and choice.

In other words, the more choices you have available, the more selective you naturally become. I mean, you could take this pretty bimbo home then suffer through awkward silences in the morning as awkwardly peels her undies off your ceiling, or you could ring up your smokin' booty call girlie with two university degrees and make sweet love to her, then bask in the afterglow until sunrise discussing Proust, art or whatever else tickles your fancy.

The choices become clear. And the bimbo's intuition will tell her that you have those choices.

And I think this is the essence of non-neediness that everyone talks about. You can't fake being non-needy. But you will become non-needy when your needs get attended to by a hottie.

Practice the two points I covered above, and you will probably find that many of your conversations with a girl end with that powerful long look into each others' eyes, and a "we need to catch up again sometime". A C-close!

So, to rehash:

1. focus on creating a connection
2. use open-ended questions and to get information out of her
3. indicate interest in stuff she tells you/complement her on it/relate to it.
4. go to 1.


Steven

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:26 pm 
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Dr. Phil

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:15 pm
Posts: 212
Steve,

I 1000% agree with you mate. Number closes, even kiss closes (unless that is all you want out of it) don't mean jack shit without a connection. I for one would rather talk with a girl, make a connection, even without getting her number, than to number close her and then spend the next two weeks and all my phone credit trying to get her to meet me again.

Making a connection I have found is a lot more than just using the right techniques. It happens when you have the ability to feel the right state of mind to be in to form a connection with that particular girl. It is like an ability to adapt your state to each different girl. Everytime I form a connection with a girl, I exercise going into the right state. It is like I am building up my connection muscle. Or better yet, I am sharpening my connection reflexes and exercising my connection intuition.

I don't give a flying fuck for a number I can't do anything with, but every time I form a C-close, I have gotten a good workout under my belt...

Of course, techniques are still important. The techniques you outlined are awesome. The only thing is, I find they work better after an initial connection is formed and she is comfortable investing in deepening that connection.

There is a technique which I use to go from no connection to a pretty deep connection very quickly and so far, when I have done it reasonably right, it has always worked for me. (I just used it last weekend and got a VERY good result - might put it up as a field report...).

Quote:
Getting under the superficial layers of conversation. Letting her open up. This bit here requires practice


That is cool, but my attitude in the beginning is that instead of letting her open up, I DEMAND her to open up. Sounds a bit rough, but I am taking the lead and leading her to a good place.

I call the technique 'challenging her into a connection'.

Hardcore shit dude...

When I do this, I am thinking to myself 'I want more', meaning I want her to invest more in me. I am not satisfied with just superficial information.

To make this work, you have to have a friendly and playful, but challenging vibe. You can't have the 'wow you seem so interesting, please open up and make a connection with me' vibe. At least, not right now for this to work.

With everything she says I am challenging her to go deeper into the theme or subject, until I can find out about her in relation to the theme, instead of just the theme itself.

Quote:
M: Where did you go?
F: England and Italy
M: Oh wow, I went to Italy in 1997 [seeking commonalities]
F: Really? Where?
M: Rome. Went to the Colosseum. Partied a lot [listing boring facts]


Yeah this is pretty shithouse, because all it is doing is talking about the theme of travelling. It is not going deeper into her as a person.

Quote:
M: Must have been exiting to travel on your own [open-ended question, one that makes her relive the emotions]
F: Yeah, i was young, I was carefree, it was an adventure, etc etc...

M: Were young and free? Which means you're now old and crusty. Great. Listen, I just realised that I left something on the stove .... [using what she gave you to tease her, qualify her]
F: Haha, shut up. Im fun, thank you.

M: So what do you do for fun? [another open-ended question, using what she gives you again, again making her think exciting thoughts, bringing emotions to the surface]
F: I like good food, I catch up with my friends, you know the usual stuff. I don't really party that much. I also play guitar and read lots of fiction.

M: Awesome. I like a girl who has a lot going on. I'm not that big on getting loose at parties, either. So how did you get into music? [indicating interest on her quality, relating to her experience, another open-ended question which will probably take her back into childhood memories]


This is great because it is going deeper into who she is, what she likes, etc. But my experience is that this sort of conversation is better when you already have a good connection and she is comfortable talking about herself.

If I had just started talking to a girl and the theme of travelling came up, I would challenge her into a connection probably something like this:

M: Where did you go?
F: England and Italy.
M: England and Italy, hey? Which one is better?
F: (any number of responses, but lets go with...) Italy.
M: Really? Why is Italy better than England? (remember, challenging vibe)
F: (she could go anywhere at this point, but whatever she does, she will have to really go into the experience to answer the question and she will have to start talking about her likes/dislikes, preferences, etc)

If I felt like I had a deep enough connection at this point and she goes into details as to why Italy is better than England, then I would probably go with the conversation above from there.

M: Must have been exciting to travel on your own, etc...

If she still was not opening up enough or giving me enough information about herself to work with, I would take it further. Probably with something like...

M: If you could go to any place in the world, where would be your first choice?
F: Switzerland.
M: Switzerland, hey? Why is Switzerland the number one?

And so it would continue with her giving me more information about her likes/dislikes, preferences, etc. Anything she gives me I can switch threads and run with. She might say because she can go skiing, in which case I will jump on that thread instead. By this time I would want to get off travelling.

The response I am looking for is that when she answers the questions, she has to think about it for a bit and go inside her mind and ponder it over to answer it. When she is going to that effort to answer my questions, she is actively working to create the connection, so she won't resist it.

That's how I go from no connection to a connection where she is investing in me by talking about herself. After that it is easy to tease her and banter with her to up the sexual tension, or just deepen the connection if I feel that is what she needs. When I have formed that connection, I can generally get a good feel as to what she needs, rather than just randomly throwing shit at the wall and hoping it will stick.

Anyway, hope it is useful.

Dave.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:39 am 
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Mostly A Gimp. Mostly.
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Dude, this is excellent.

Quote:
I call the technique 'challenging her into a connection'.

M: Where did you go?
F: England and Italy.
M: England and Italy, hey? Which one is better?
F: (any number of responses, but lets go with...) Italy.
M: Really? Why is Italy better than England? (remember, challenging vibe)


Didn't even think of that before. Its like having an extra layer of conversation that acts as a buffer between casual banter and deep connection. It's not verbal sparring, and it's not d'n'm, either.

I like it lots.

Steven

PS Italy is way better. Is there even a contest, really?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:07 am 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:51 pm
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Location: Coogee Bay.
I love this whole idea of a 'connection close'. Anyone can get number... One of our field coaches can do it in less than 10 seconds! (Yes, YOU! You sly bastard... field report, please?) But what does it mean? Well... not that much really.

Getting a number is one thing but she could give it out to 10 guys in a week. What makes you any different?

But, if you open your heart, share you passions and motivations, you loves and your fears, and create a connection that she probably doesn't have with her closest friends then, well... that's truly special. You don't have to think of a funky, cool way to as for her number because she'll want to give it to you. You wont have to worry about her picking up the phone when you ring because she'll be worrying whether or not you're going to call. You wont have to worry about whether or not she'll flake because she'll do all the stressing about that for you.

It's funny, when I think back to the great nights out that I've had, they haven't been about taking a girl home or making out with a girl in a club, they've been about the amazing and open connections that I've made with another person.

Even thought they know I have a girlfriend that I love very dearly and wouldn't dream about leaving, we still exchange numbers and catch up again.

Go the c-close!


LoGun

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