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Board index : THE LOUNGE : The Icing On Top.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:41 am 
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Mostly A Gimp. Mostly.
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How Many Times A Day Do You See Women You Like?

Now imagine being able to approach them confidently. To sweep them off their feet and leave them wondering:

“Wow. Who was that guy?”

This is not fantasy. It is the power of becoming the kind of Man who women are naturally attracted to.

Once yourself sorted, approaching takes care of itself. You don’t think
about how to be an attractive man. You ARE that man.

You have no approach anxiety. Anxiety is rooted in a possibility of loss or danger. When you are a complete Man, you seek to take nothing from her. You don't experience anxiety, you experience approach excitement. You only seeks to add to her world. In that context, there can be no anxiety, no fear.

You are not thinking of the next thing to say. You are authentic and real with her.
You see a script roll out before your eyes, with the perfect word appearing at
the perfect time. You connect. You relate.

And it’s something that she will feel.

Now, an attractive woman receives dozens of looks, complements and approaches a day. That is a lot of competition. So what is the best way for you to get to the top of that pile of men? How do you become the wheat and separate yourself from the chaff?

The good news is that the majority of approaches she sees are the chaff; so how do you become the wheat?

You follow some basic ideas of male-female interaction, and they are not ideas we've come up with - they have been around forever. And then you combine them with some ideas that we DID come up with, and you get .. well, you get what you want.

So, below is a transcript of a typical coaching session where we show men just how easy it can be to meet women they desire. See if it's something you find interesting.

---------------------------------------------

So. How would I go about meeting women in the daytime?

Well, first things first; she is going to be off in her own little world, so you’ll need to get her attention.

Ok, so how do I do that?

How would you get any stranger’s attention?

I’d just say hi, I guess.

That sounds perfect. I’d throw in a little arm touch for good measure. Just to make sure that she knows that you’re talking to her.

Sweet. Ok, what next?

Well, whenever people come and talk to you in the street, what’s the first thing that you’re wondering?

Why the hell they’re talking to me!

Great. So why are you talking to her?

Umm... Well, she’s really attractive

Good, tell her that. Why else are you there?

Because I want to find out if she is the kind of girl I like.

Excellent.

But people never do that, it’s just weird!

Throw that in as well.

Ok. So you’re suggesting something like “Hi [arm touch], I realise that people never do this, but I find you amazingly beautiful and I had to come and find out what you’re like.” Yeah?

No, I'm not. I'm suggesting that you express what is really going on for you in that moment. If that's what we just worked out, then do that. If it's something different then do that. Follow what's really going on for you.

Ok, but I'm confused. What if I can't come up with anything to say?

Easy! Just say that!


Just tell her that I don't have anything to say? Are you on drugs?

Yes. And yes.

But can you just do that? Just go up to her and say that kind of stuff?

I don’t know, can YOU?

Good point. So what now?

Well, that depends. Why are you there?

Because I want to know more about her.

Why?

Because I want women in my life who I click with.

Great. Can you tell if you click with her if you just ask her question or do you have to share things about yourself?

No... I guess I'd have to share myself as well.

Great. There you go. That's it. Ask her about her and then share things about yourself.


But I know that interviewing her is not going to work. Every guy who hits on her asks her questions about her work and her hobbies... I can't just do that.

Does what she does for a living or what she does in her spare time determine whether or not you're attracted to her? Or is it more about her passions, her desires, her loves and her fears?

Umm... I'd never thought about it. I guess it's the latter...

Great. Then don't interview her, get deeper with her. Find out who she really is and share who you really are.


Ok... I see. But wont that be too serious?

It might be. I don't know. It depends on so many things that I couldn't tell you whether or not it was too serious. I've been in situations where it would have been far too inappropriate but I've also been in situations where it was the most obvious and appropriate thing.

If it doesn't feel appropriate, play around, tease her, have fun, and then when it feels appropriate, go deep.


How do I be playful then? Do you have any tips?

Check out the Reframing, Yes and..., and Disqualification threads*. They're a lot of fun.


Ok, I see... But it can’t be that easy.

I’m pretty sure that it can’t be as hard as most guys make it. It’s only as hard as you make it.

But what if I do it and she rejects me?

What do you mean, rejects you?

What if she tells me to get lost?

Is that a problem?

Yes, of course it is. Everyone is going to see me and think that I’m a loser!

Really? Every single person is going to think you’re a loser? It’s that easy to become a loser? So your definition of a loser is someone who gets told to get lost by a woman he tries to talk to in the street? Even if he is a great guy who is honest about his intentions, he suddenly becomes a loser?

No. But people will still think I’m a loser.

What does it matter what they think of you? Is the opinion of five strangers that you will probably never see again going to have some profound impact on your existence?

I guess not.

Good. I don’t believe in labelling anyone a loser, but out of interest would you say it’s more loser-ish to have the courage to approach a beautiful woman and be honest about your desires towards her, or is it more loser-ish to stand and watch her walk by?

Well, watch her walk by, I guess.

So does talking to her, regardless of the outcome, make you a loser?

No.

Excellent.

Yeah, I guess it is excellent. So basically we’re just talking about being myself and doing what I want to do in the moment. But I don’t get it. I have been myself for the last few decades and it hasn’t worked. How is this different?

Were you really being 100% yourself or were you what you thought she wanted to be? Were you really expressing what you thought, how you felt, what you desired and what you wanted to do with your life or where you hiding behind a socially acceptable mask whilst secretly trying to trick her into thinking you were someone you weren't?

Ok, I get it.

And prior to going through the exercises and activities you've been through, did you really know yourself to be able to express yourself?


Ok, that makes sense.

Good. So what’s still stopping you?

Well, is it really that easy?

It is only going to be as hard as you make it. If you think you need to run around remembering to talk over your shoulder and telling women you’re about to leave, or trying to memorise line after line of material, then it probably will be hard.

When you achieve success following that method you will reinforce your own belief that those things are necessary. If you think that you don’t need those things and you don’t use them and get success, you will reinforce your own belief that those rules don’t exist. It’s up to you how easy you want it to be.

In the end, it’s not about what you say. It’s HOW you say it. And how your saying it is determined by WHY you're saying it. If you're saying things to impress women then you're going to struggle for the rest of your life. If you're saying things so you can express yourself openly and find people you connect with, everything changes.


Ahh... That's the Certianty / Uncertainty / Pathway stuff you talked about in Endgame, isn't it?

Yes it is my friend.

Hmm... Well, that's about it, I guess...

Good. Now get out there and start talking to women! You ready?

Yeah!


* You can find those threads here: the-icing-on-top/

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Last edited by Steven on Fri Mar 14, 2008 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 6:59 am 
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AI Forum Moderator

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:10 pm
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I love you man, seriously. And I'm not drunk on alcohol, I'm drunk on the beautiful simplicity of the model you have presented: quick let's patent it so we can be like mystery too ;).


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 9:19 pm 
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Get Real Graduate
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Location: Sydney
I love this post.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 3:14 pm 
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Fresh Fish
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Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:47 am
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Tres interesting. Love the loser paradigm. So very true.

D.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:07 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:21 pm
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In the conversation above it says, to practice being "present" and the beliefs and mindsets to give you confidence

Is there a specific post on this

I'm not real cluey on using forums, so if this is common knowledge on where to find it....


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:02 pm 
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Jung
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Hey Think,

Check out this post by Steven http://www.attractioninstitute.org/inner-game-forums/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=45. Mandatory reading IMO.

There is also a forum group called "Beliefs" which has all the related posts.

If you want to find out more about "presence" read "Way of the Superior Man" by David Dedia or anything by Eckhart Tolle.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:27 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 15, 2008 1:12 pm
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ive always wanted to try sumthin upfront and open like that and i was think of using sumthin along the lines of:
hey how u doin? I know u probably hear this alot but i think ur the most beatiful woman ive seen all day and i just felt obliged to come an say hi.

so wat u think? any suggestions? how wud u guys recommend i continue the convo?

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:44 pm 
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Jung
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Hey J-Mos,

You are asking questions that were already answered in the original post. Read it again.

J-Mos wrote:
ive always wanted to try sumthin upfront and open like that and i was think of using sumthin along the lines of:
hey how u doin? I know u probably hear this alot but i think ur the most beatiful woman ive seen all day and i just felt obliged to come an say hi.


You've missed the point of "it's not what you say, but how you say it". Try going to a mall and just walk around (or sit) and observe beautiful women around you. Don't worry about approaching, but when you notice a girl that turns you on, observe the thoughts and feelings that come to you. Can you express those thoughts and feelings verbally? This is what being genuine is about versus having some line that is supposed to work. Most of the time, the woman can feel if you are being genuine or saying something that you hope she will approve of.

J-Mos wrote:
so wat u think? any suggestions? how wud u guys recommend i continue the convo?


Once again, the answer is there. You are looking for a set of rules to follow but this post is about flowing with the moment. Are you approaching her to see if she'll like you or are you approaching her to see if she is the type of woman you are looking for? If you don't know what you are looking for then you've got some self discovery to do first. In answer to your question, make the conversation about her. Be observant to her reactions and listen intently to what she says. This will give you information which you can either relate to with your own personal experiences or you can ask her further questions about what she is talking about (taking it in the direction of what it is you are trying to find out about her).

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"What you are looking for is what is looking" - St Francis.


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PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2009 6:36 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Thu May 21, 2009 10:27 am
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This has made more sense than any other product that the gurus are trying to plug. Thanks mate.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:42 am 
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Wow :)


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