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Board index : THE LOUNGE : The Icing On Top.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 5:33 pm 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:51 pm
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Location: Coogee Bay.
Sexual tension is one of the key ingredients starting new sexual relationships with women yet how to create it is not really discussed in the community. This is a quick ‘how to’ guide for pushing her buttons but, also the secret of how to not need to use any of these techniques…

I’m going to keep the theory to a minimum here but there are a few little things you need to now to get the hang of this.

What is it?

Just like everything, if you want to improve it, you first have to know what it is. So, what is sexual tension? MY definition is: sexual desire + barrier = sexual tension. When two people want to escalate sexually but can’t because you there is something preventing them, you get sexual tension.

So, in order to create sexual tension, you just have to make sure you have desire + barrier. Simple. Now here are my favourite little techniques for doing that:

*** Note: these are really brief explanations but I’ve done that for a reason. I wanted you guys to get a basic understanding so you could take this, walk out the door and start straight away.

Reframing

Reframing is the process of taking the things she’s saying and misinterpreting them as her hitting on you / seducing you / trying to trick you into having sex with you. Basically what any sleazy guy does.

For example:

Her: I’m going to the bathroom

You: We can’t go to the bathroom together, we barely know each other. I wait until at least the second date to do that kind of thing!

You can see here that you’re making her out to desire you and you’re playing the barrier therefore, you have sexual tension! Now, I realize that she isn’t actually trying to lure you into the bathroom so the desire isn’t really there but women are playful creatures. They’re pretty happy to play into these games. You’ll find that most playful women will buy into these roles and the tension will just develop.

Or, if nothing’s really going and you just want to be a smart arse, wait till one of her friends is coming near and just yell: “No, I barely know you! I’m not going to have sex with you!” It’s funny shit ;-)

Disqualification

Disqualification is the process of writing her off as a terrible girlfriend / wife / lover / whatever.

A classic example that usually makes it into my nights out is:

Her: **doing anything embarrassing, awkward, socially weird**

You: This is the worst date I’ve ever been on…

Or

You: And this is why we’re not together any more.

Once again, you’re reframing what’s going on so that it looks like she’s trying to win you over and you’re putting up barriers that are preventing her from progressing. Thus, you have sexual tension!

Positive disqualification

This one is nice. This is really fun. It’s similar to disqualification but it’s a little flipped around. Instead of making her out to be the desire and you’re playing the barrier, you’re playing both! Positive Disqualification is where you write off being in a relationship with her but you make it for something very positive about her. Something like this:

Her: **some funny joke**

You: You see, this is why could never work out. You’re far too funny. We’d spend all our time together laughing, playing, having fun and we’d end up leaving the house. Because we’d never talk to anyone else, we’d totally let go: never exercise, always eating home delivery, I’d end up at 300kg with diabetes, high cholesterol and heart failure and all because you make me laugh so much! I’m definitely going to have to find someone much more boring than you! Do you have an identical twin sister in a coma? That’d work out perfect thanks…

Remember to...

The key with any of these games is to make them as ridiculous as possible. That’s where the humour comes into it. If you make it kind of plausible, it’ll be pretty boring. Go completely over the top. It’s funny shit.

I’m sure there’s plenty of theories out there about how and why they work but I’m not going to bother with them. Just try them out and see if they work for you.

Now these techniques are all fun and interesting ways to play with beautiful women but the thing about them is they’re not a substitute for being the kind of Man she’s attracted to. They will not make up for lack of Masculine drive and purpose, they will simply make things a little more fun. If you want to understand more about how to be that guy, read this: http://attractioninstitute.org/programs/get-real

But, if you’re already the kind of guy who women desire to be with then you don’t really need any of these games, you can simply go with:

Direct Intent


Most guys in the community are aware of Jugglers concept of Statement of Intent (SOI). It’s (loosely) where you make it clear that you like her and you mention the non-looks basis for that. Direct Intent is one step further.

The major issue I see guys having with this SOI is that they SAY they’re interested in her (as it’s a statement) but they communicate something different. Because they’re just ‘doing’ a technique rather than following their feelings and desires, their body language, voice speed, and tonality give away what they really mean.

Don't say it...

Direct Intent isn’t about having to say anything or following a specific sequence, it’s about communicating exactly what you mean through every facet of your person. In fact, you can actually do it without saying anything!

And how?

When you work out that she meets your standards, really focus on that. Focus on what you’d like to do with her, picture it in your mind, imagine what she’d sound like screaming your name, focus on what it would feel like to have her sweaty, naked skin grinding over yours, and then communicate that to her through the way you look at her, the way you touch her, even through the way you breathe.

Even if she halts your advances, it doesn’t mean you should hide your intent. Keep it there, keep playing with her, but most importantly, be true to how you feel.

You play the desire and allow her to play the barrier.

Don’t ‘do’ direct, be direct.

CAUTION: If you're not the kind of Man she desires to be with, this will make you look like a weird creep. If you are, she'll be dripping wet before you finish introducing yourself.

So that's a wrap on how to build sexual tension. There's a lot of fun stuff in there for you to play with. I know how much fun I have with it and I'm sure you're going to have heaps as well.

Feel free to hit me up with any questions!


LoGun

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 5:16 pm 
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Arm Chair Therapist
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Man you are a genius! I was hanging out with a girl last night and we were bantering as usual. Having read this post recently and followed the practice threads, I had these techniques (and some lines) drilled in my head.

Anyway, so I employed each of these techniques the entire night as and when the opportunities arose, without actually thinking about them. Man she was loving it. I could see it in her eyes. In could hear it her laughter. She was attracted :)

Re-framing and Positive Disqualification worked the best. Apparently, she's a shallow person who thinks I'm a piece of meat and can't stop saying that. Also, we are now divorced but she keeps calling because she can't help it :)


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 7:41 pm 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:51 pm
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Location: Coogee Bay.
Yes. I love to hear this kind of stuff. It's so simple yet so much fun. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself :-)


LoGun


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 9:02 pm 
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Fresh Fish
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LoGun wrote:
http://attractioninstitute.org/lounge/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=157
http://attractioninstitute.org/lounge/v ... f=44&t=156


Hey man,
Got a couple of broken links here that I'd love to read.

Hook me up x


Peace,

kowalski


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 9:06 pm 
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Get Real Graduate
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Location: Sydney
^ He likes to put broken links in all his posts, to build tension. He does it to all the boys - don't fall for his games.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 12:26 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:32 pm
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Logun wrote:
When you work out that she meets your standards, really focus on that. Focus on what you’d like to do with her, picture it in your mind, imagine what she’d sound like screaming your name, focus on what it would feel like to have her sweaty, naked skin grinding over yours, and then communicate that to her through the way you look at her, the way you touch her, even through the way you breathe.

Even if she halts your advances, it doesn’t mean you should hide your intent. Keep it there, keep playing with her, but most importantly, be true to how you feel.


I really like that bit of advice, except I have no clue how to implement it yet.

While I try to work out whether she meets my expectations, she gets bored to death.

I'll have to find that mix of qualification and playfulness and sexual directness.

The latter two are especially hard. Anybody got examples?


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 2:58 pm 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:51 pm
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Location: Coogee Bay.
I would suggest that this is because this isn't a 'meeting' women skill, it's a life skill.

If you only do this as a trick to get women, then you're going to struggle because as you're just Doug it to get women and not in the rest of your life, you're going to have nothing to offer her. Because you have nothing to offer her (like certainty and uncertainty) then she has no reason to be around you. Because she has no reason to be around you, she gets bored whilst you're Doug this.

Does that make sense?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 7:49 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:32 pm
Posts: 111
I do it in contexts other than women(jobs, activities, etc.) I do believe I know what you mean.

Yet, it plays out quite differently when interacting with a person, because it's a two-way interaction.

But... maybe I should focus more on the interaction itself rather than only considering the future possibility of sex.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:26 am 
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Mostly A Man. Mostly.

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:51 pm
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Location: Coogee Bay.
I've replied to your PM.


L.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:45 am 
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Jung

Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2010 2:36 pm
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Brilliant! But I find myself not needing these because I already have a well developed sense of humor (putting myself up on a pedestal? maybe) and I can think of specific times (since my inner game has dramatically changed) that I've done these naturally. It's great!


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