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One area where I've criticized (sometimes publicly and heatedly) what I see on AI is the pursuit of goals simply for their own sake or for the sake of building what seems to be the self-concept of the goal-setter. I'm not against all goals, but there is a give-and-take that is happening with the world and the goals should be aligned with that give-and-take and the whole thing must be understood by the individual. This is an area that I've been thinking about a lot recently and I haven't completely worked it out for myself, but I think it's a huge question to be answered, possibly one of the last few to be answered before the engine starts to run on its own, so to speak. Here are a few more direct questions that might help to clarify what I'm saying:
"What is my relationship to the external world?"
"What is the balance of what I give to the world and what I take from the world?"
As it applies to women, this balance is crucial. Leigh, you often talk about how women want sex as much as men do. You probably have also said it this way, but I think a better way to phrase it is that you (the aspiring attractor) have something to give to women. When that is understood, barriers like fear and guilt are left behind. I can't imagine why someone would be nervous to give another person a gift unless there are other factors that might cause that nervousness. However, simply telling someone this won't actually change the way he feels or how well he understands himself. At best, he'll ignore it and, at worst, he'll try to make himself believe that he does understand it, which will lead to him angering or potentially scaring women. But once this understanding is attained, the individual's genuine desires will always be the final deciding factor in what he does and how he lives, including the way he deals with women.
Leigh, I'm curious about whether you have contemplated this question, how you think this understanding can be sought, and whatever else you might have to say about it.
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