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View topic - The capacity to love...

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:33 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:20 pm
Posts: 7
I just want to say thank you for sharing this quote. I've passed it on to a friend of mine, who I'm trying to help with similar issues that many of us face (being dependent on others for happiness, etc), and it explained things far better than I could, and really hit home with her. :)


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 9:35 pm 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2010 2:21 am
Posts: 3
I believe that "The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.” If you do not give the right attention to the one you love, it is a kind of killing.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:22 pm 
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Get Real Graduate
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 24, 2008 2:08 pm
Posts: 308
Location: Vaucluse
Leigh showed me this today and i realised i had commented on it like last year in the beginning of the year... i completely disagree with my previous view and totally agree with that quote..

Just comes to show you, we know nothing.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2010 11:31 pm 
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Arm Chair Therapist

Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:21 am
Posts: 71
Location: Western Sydney

_________________
"The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent
the money. He finally decided to marry the one with the biggest tits."


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:16 am 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:00 am
Posts: 3
There is no device to measure the capacity to love. It varies from person to person, but I believe the love is a kind of feeling which should not be judged or measured. It is just a lovely feeling so everyone should enjoy it instead of measuring it. Love in its own way knows no boundaries. It is endless but if it is just one-sided it is very harmful.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 4:58 pm 
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Get Real Graduate

Joined: Wed May 23, 2012 12:02 pm
Posts: 171
Location: Adelaide
[/quote]I think that loving someone to the point where it hurts is the most amazing experience, it shows you that your alive. How can you say that feeling pain is a bad thing even if you were to break up.[/quote]

This vulnerability is what I strive for.

_________________
Life isnt meant to be taken so seriously


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 2:46 am 
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Dr. Phil

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:43 pm
Posts: 144
I think it's very interesting. I believe we cannot truly love someone else, until we truly love thyself. Otherwise it's not actually love, it's lust or coveting our suppressed qualities onto others we deem have them. I have similar views about politics and religion, though these won't be discussed here.

I believe feeling pain is a good thing, it's where greatness rises from. I have few friendships this present day that started as a bed of roses, or have remained as beds of roses throughout the duration. In fact, I can't think of any. Life without pain isn't life, it's monotony. Endless happiness isn't happiness, it's boredom after a while. Success and freedom too - these are things we strive for, though once we get them, we don't want anymore or we want more of them, or a different version. Getting kills wanting - I forget who said that originally but it's fantastic.

"I'm a keep on trying, till I reach the highest ground" ~ Stevie Wonder


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 2:35 pm 
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Dr. Phil

Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:10 am
Posts: 104
It's so ironic because im just coming from this chinese joint near me .I ran into this dude the last time i was there and he was back again .This time he was with a chick.She was super cute she kind of looked like the jonas brother that got married's wife minus the beak .The guy seems like a chill guy mello type guy and the chick he was with was cute .Anywho i went there to grab a quick bite and bounce .While i was there ,i didn't really chat with anyone cause the couple it seemed .Were really into each other the whole time the vibe i was getting while sitting there.I would look in that direction from time to time to catch a glimpse mainly to get the waitresses attention though.

While sitting there was overwhelmed with the feelings i had when i was younger which was .Like a loneliness and longing to be with someone i'm learning i like to be in a relationship.Like to be in the company of a woman that im interested in.Now i don't know how interested these two were really with each other .It seemed the girl was into and was able to confide in him like he made her comfy .Soi'm guessing thats a G/F maybe who knows i started feeling uncomfortable being there .I was there along ,which usually don't bother me because i go to eat at this place.Once in a blue moon after work but just being around them it made me feel alone.

Like i wished i had me a cute number sitting next to me that after we ate i'd be taking her home.To cuddle or what not ,my feelings of when i was in a serious relationship came flooding back .Even after i left i got these depressed feelings of emptyness .So i came home and jumped on here to see if maybe there was a way to understand this .I found just so happend to stumble upon this particular post like it jumped out at me .

It's so weird because last week i was feeling uber confident i was around girls very attractive ones .I felt superior to them like i was better than then them and now i stumble upon this couple and .It's like im back at square one even now the thoughts of that experience are still fresh in my mind .Currently i haven't been going out to much because i been hoping from job to job and just looking for work inbetween.I just haven't been to motivated really but seeing that motivates me .anyone else ever feel this way?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2012 3:00 pm 
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Dr. Phil

Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:43 pm
Posts: 144
I was out taking a walk alone and passed this couple. The girl was cute, the guy was no slob but no male model. They walked closely which suggested something beyond platonic friendship. I said nothing, but in a good state of mind I made eye contact with the girl and smiled. She smiled back as we passed while the guy kept walking.

I've never really noticed this before, this whole "relationship dynamics" thing. Either the guy was oblivious or really really confident, or else the girl was just really friendly like me. I'm trying to think of times where I've made eye contact or approached a solo woman while I've been with my girlfriend, or hell, she's locked eyes with another guy and I haven't noticed. Being an analytical bastard I went home and thought for about an hour where to set the boundaries with flirting, but I wound up not really caring in the end. I guess it's Laissez-Faire style; if Jammer does it, it's a-OK.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:58 pm 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Wed May 11, 2016 12:19 am
Posts: 2
The capacity to love from another person is all good until it lasted. I got cheated on and was devastated, torn and ultimately lost my trust to women.

6 months ago since it happened and the first two months were brutal. I tried to search for ways on how to cope. Articles like this http://www.mensaxis.com/my-girlfriend-cheated-on-me/, friends, and other ways to divert my attention.

I swear I could’ve killed the girl when I found out about it but there’s still moral rationality left in me despite of what happened.

I started reading online articles about love: http://www.psychalive.org/why-the-spark-fades-in-a-relationship/ until I can justify to myself that we’re both at fault and the break up is the next best thing to happen for both of us.

Until now I’m still recovering and I don’t think I have it in me the capacity to love again.


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