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Board index : THE LOUNGE : Mission Control

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2014 2:25 pm 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2014 7:19 am
Posts: 9
Hello this is more of a public journal which I wish to share with fellow friends and brothers on the path to living your FULL potential.

"A successful life is living to your life's full potential"

My daily goals

- Meditation (sadhana from Guru) twice a day for 1 hour, morning and evening, or a long stretch in the evening or morning for 2 hours.
- To move towards fear rather than step away from it - 3 times a day - just to create the habit, my strategy to deal with fear since it will inevitably lead to a reduction of fear due to directly facing the situation, person, place, or whatever. Learning to act despite the fear as I've learned from a fellow friend who told me about this site.
- To give my best, my whole body, mind and heart to whatever tasks I need to do throughout the day, bringing presence. What more can one ask?
- To write in my journal daily and begin to THINK about things and reflect clearly.
- No porn, that includes dating site and anything related. No Masturbation and O for 60 days.
- Cut out all unhealthy foods from diet to improve the quality of my life, health and mind.
- NO P M O 30 days

Long term goals -
- Travel to Mother India next Month for a spiritual retreat, been saving for 2 months so far.
- Discover my purpose in life, which I feel I'm nearing.
- Create a world and live in a world I truly want.
- Overcome vices each and every vice have - Porn, running from fear, seeking approval from people I don't even know, caring what other people think. These are definite things I've recognized and need to over come. Lust, Anger, Greed, Laziness, Deceit, Fear - The impurities of the mind and heart which disturb one's natural peace.
- Solid, clear thinking, and understanding of things.
- Heal the pains and wounds of the past(traumas, etc)

- Find God, Self-Realization, Enlightenment - The Ultimate goal and purpose of my life.

Now this is written, January, 18, 2015 - I will update once a week and share an entry from my journal. This is so that I can see my progress.

I would appreciate any feedback.

I will try to update once a week.

Noman


Last edited by Noman on Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:00 am 
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Fresh Fish

Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2014 7:19 am
Posts: 9
Update -

This has been quite the challenge.

What has been major is the willingness to feel fear now that I've made the decision to move towards it when it arises rather than Fight it(repress) or Run away. When fear comes up, I see it as a chance to go beyond it through moving towards it, there is an openness to feeling it. I've also come to realize that there is no way I'll be able to live the life I want without acting despite the feeling of fear being there, rather than allowing it to stop me from taking action towards my goals, I act with the fear being present inside of me. I am beginning to see that fear cannot stop me from moving towards my goals because there is no option of reaching them if I refrain from acting every time there is a fear of doing so.

Overcoming my addiction to PMO is very hard, I've failed multiple times despite my goal of refraining but I think I've finally found a strategy which will work. I created a chart and keep track everyday, I remind myself in the morning and before sleep about my goals. I've gone almost 6 months no faps before but just in a week i've given into it many times despite my goal of 30 days. As long as I do not give up, I will reach this goal. I'm trying again, currently on Day 2, I remind myself and keep track with a chart, I feel I will not fail. The life I want to create does not involve me having sex with my hand and getting off to pixels on a screen, it involves me channeling the powerful sexual energy into reaching my goals, and fulfilling my deepest desires, or making love with a girl whom I feel deep connection to. I am so grateful to write this down and be reminded of this.

The failure to maintain NO PMO has had very negative consequences, I broke the challenge and "binged" on it 2 days ago, I went crazy after giving in once and probably released my precious seed 5 times that night, I felt terrible the next day, totally exhausted, felt like crying and totally lethargic, I felt the worst I've ever felt in my entire life to be honest, I hit rock bottom. This was on Thursday. This has created a stronger resolve because I can clearly see the negative impact PMO has on my body and mind, I find the semen (ojas) to be very important to reserve as it improves my well-being greatly. This failure also resulted in a very strong feeling of frusteration and my friends, work and family were impacted by this because I was not happy, therefore not able to offer them my fullest capacities, I was lost in frustration and dissapointment in myself.

I need to remind myself why PMO is needed.

Currently, my body feels sick still from the massive release on Thursday after breaking the no PMO, but this has motivated me to try again and due to seeing the negative impact it has on me I feel strongly motivated.

Everything else has been moving on well.

- To sum it up, I will not ever reach any of my goals in life or create the life I want if I let fear hold me back from taking action, I must act despite the fear being present in my body/mind. Fear is an illusion, it's always about future which doesn't exist in Reality. When fear is there, I need to act because that's where I will grow and develop and learn.
- PMO I've failed the challenge on the 2nd day and then went overboard, draining myself of all the reserved energy, I have a new strategy so that I can reach my 30 day goal.


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